I wouldn’t have commented on Marie Kondo (whom I haven’t read or watched in any format) except that Simcha Fisher did, and she likewise has not read or watched her. So this is certainly a meta-post (a post on an article on a book by a woman!) Simcha, delightfully notes:
When Marie Kondo first made her tasteful splash on the homemaker scene, many of my mom friends swooned at the idea of becoming entirely new people who could whip everything around them into delightful, streamlined, orderly shape. Others raged and fumed at Kondo’s insistence that they throw out most of their cherished belongings, get rid of their books, spend all their precious time fussing over trivialities and strive to live in a sterile museum rather than a comfortable home.
The reason this has all come to the fore, after the buzz died down a couple years ago is because the Washington Post recently quoted MK as saying that she had to change her priorities now that she has three children. As Simcha notes:
the internet exploded in a unanimous, rather vicious, “Ha-ha!” Now she’s a slob, just like the rest of us! Now she knows better! But my friends who actually read her book and considered her advice were not at all surprised. Kondo never claimed that a rigid minimalism is superior. She apparently only offers suggestions for how to make yourself more functional and peaceful if the current state of your house is making you unhappy… And this is why she is my hero. Not necessarily because she clearly enjoys her children (although that’s a wonderful thing, and refreshing to hear someone say in public), but because she is courageously demonstrating something so few people understand: that you can change how you act and still be yourself. In fact, you have to.
Then Simcha pivots into a lovely essay on growing and changing while remaining yourself before God, who loves you deeply. I highly recommend savouring her wisdom, hard won (what wisdom isn’t?) and worthwhile. I only wanted to respond with a hearty, Amen, and comment that I’ve found in the lovely work of aging the importance of letting go of the details while hanging on to the essence: loving amidst the messy circumstances of your life.
I found “the empty nest” far harder than I’d imagined, after raising five lively children, even though I knew it was coming and relished the quiet. Moving from a five bedroom home on four acres into a tiny condo was a change (welcome, actually) and loving grandchildren is quite different than forming one’s own offspring (said every mother for the last umpteen millennia!) But deepening one’s prayer life, learning from mistakes, creating a sanctuary of love, and greeting neighbours with a sincere smile are the constants despite downsizing everything from closets to food portions.
The heart of Simcha’s message is this: “There have been many times in my life I’ve been faced with the call to change and had to vault over the fear of losing my identity. It’s a terrifying leap to make.”
And yet leap we do. And landing safely should allow us to settle in, and turn to help those around us to do the same. For as the psalmist notes, we’re already scampering on hinds feet among the high places. Keep going, back up when necessary, and otherwise, trust!
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