I love this personal account by Jenny Uebbing, who began her trek back to her childhood faith after hearing the personal story of Dr Scott Hahn. And now she tells her story, because as people we are wired for stories. The stories of the saints are gripping, as are those of the pioneers, the explorers, and those who struggled to enhance their societies in various ways [read: Harriet Tubman, Florence Nightengale, Martin Luther King, etc.] While history is often panned as a study of dates, topography, and the fight for natural resources, profiles of heroic people bring those same scenarios alive with verve. We are the apple of God’s eye, and the world is the proving ground of His love.
I knew who Jesus was as a historical character and, theoretically, Who He was in the Blessed Sacrament on the altar at Mass. But I didn’t know Jesus as my Lord. He didn’t call the shots in my life. I was living for me, directed by me, and in pursuit of what pleased me. Jesus was an afterthought, and His Church was the window dressing I put out as a flag to signify to others what I was about. Being Catholic defined me in the same way being an American did, or being a woman. It was something intrinsic and immutable but nothing I had real agency in. When I started hearing stories like Dr. Hahn’s, the universe tilted. I came to recognize that faith was as much a gift as a choice. That this man, and countless other men and women throughout history had chosen Christ, had made a decision to orient their entire lives around Him.
Conversion (or reversion) stories are fascinating. Each unfolds in astonishing ways, which can be both exciting and frustrating for those who wish the unChurched and wayward in their lives to turn to God–now! Rather than drifting towards the [envious?] tendency to say, “Why not my son? Why not my husband?” we should hear these accounts with unadulterated joy, and marvel at the myriad powers of the Spirit to use all things for the glory of God. As Mrs. Uebbing says, “Every single soul is the story of salvation history all over again: rejection and redemption, suffering and salvation.”
In that regard, your own story is something you should reflect on regularly, to see how it grows and deepens in beauty. Time spent pondering how God worked so gently but firmly in your life should give you confidence, even at the low moments, and as we see treasure its richness, we will have it at the ready when others inquire or ask for advice. As Saint Peter wrote, “Always be ready to give an explanation to anyone who asks you for a reason for your hope” (1 Peter 3:15). And what better reason for hope is the first-hand witness of every miracle of conversion!
Each path is singular, and may seem to move away from God for a time. We must pray with patience and confidence that God’s grace will be sufficient. Baby steps, as we recall, lead to great journeys in every life!
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